Anger Management

Feb 022016
 

Insdie Out Anger

I have a temper. I suspect it’s inherited; I offer a tip of the hat to dear old dad.

Being uncomfortable with confrontation, I try to control the impulse to explode. This isn’t always helpful as it produces a surly muttering version of me. So when I need to yell, I yell—in my room or in the car. In private.

As someone whose temper sometimes flares, I work very hard not to employ anger as a weapon. Mine is more about frustration anyway. Common irritants include lousy customer service, my aching back, challenging bureaucracy, bouts of loneliness and the rise of dis- and misinformation. Hard to blame any one person for all those feelings.

I’ve been reading about American anger, especially as it applies to the electorate. You know the mantra: We feel insecure. We live in unpredictable, scary times. Oh, and don’t try telling anyone it’s always been this way. People have short memories as well as short fuses.

What bothers me is so much voter anger is fueled by massive quantities of misinformation and significant misdirection. Too many people are led to believe “X” is both important and true or, maybe worse, they don’t care if it’s true because it feels significant. They are willing to direct their fury at identified bogeymen because it’s both easier and emotionally satisfying.

Look: Politics in America have always been nasty and voters have often fallen for dirty tricks. Nothing new. During the 1828 Presidential campaign, the accusations about John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson (mostly Jackson) included murder, adultery, corruption and sex for hire. Adams was horrified at the tenor of the stories and avoided the dirt. Jackson, angered by charges against him, eagerly participated. Jackson won.

Anger in politics? Also not new. Hitler’s rise to power was built on his ability to foment anger by identifying the supposed villains who had robbed the German people of greatness. Mideast politics seem to be a cycle of repression, anger, change and repression.

Not new but still depressing in America in 2016. Those of us who believe in evolution keep hoping human beings have progressed. Imagine a world where people demonstrate a willingness to come together to create practical solutions to difficult problems. Now imagine a world where the worst of humankind keeps triumphing over the best. Which world do you want?

Anger can unite. It can encourage action. It can bring about change. It can also incite violence or bring people under the sway of a charismatic demagogue. Public anger can turn on a dime, which is why we must take care to manage it carefully.

angry bird

Death Live

Aug 272015
 

I once thought I could outrun Death–or at least avoid it–by turning away from the places it lived. When drugs and depression, a war in Southeast Asia and a plague in New York City took my friends, I promised myself I’d move out, duck, hide, stay beneath the radar.

An exercise in futility if ever there was one.

Death has driven itself into a twin tower, marched into the Middle East and Africa, put guns into the hands of narcissistic madmen and young warriors and knocked down desperately needed heroes. It has located friends across the country—young, old, prepared and unprepared. Our interconnectivity has insured we will not live one day without experiencing death live and in person.

No one likes Death. I hate the thought of it. Not my own, which will leave me with something or nothing but in any event less pain. No, I hate that it robs the living, leaving us with hollowed-out hearts. This is the nature of finite life, we’re told.

I might accept natural mortality were we humans not so determined to help Death do its work. What religious perversion or overweening egotism grants permission to kill? Of all the creatures on earth, we are the only ones for whom ass-backwards calculation factors into our violence. We almost never kill to survive. No, we’re impelled by fear or offense, a need to be heard or prove a point. We kill to dominate or subjugate. We know we’ll get attention one way or another. We’ve no lack of outlets ready to help.

Guns make it easier to kill. So does a mindset that allows for action without consideration. Of course I want to keep weapons out of the hands of people whose past meltdowns and dangerous or reckless behavior are a matter of public record. I’d also welcome an honest reassessment about the notion of giving and taking offense. We might ponder when free speech became an excuse for spewing hateful venom or showing horrific images. Maybe we can take a moment to reevaluate a culture that promotes entitlement and outrage.

We can’t stop Death but we don’t have to go into business with it.

man loading bulletscourtesy Graham Sale, 2015

How Civil Is Your Part of the World?

Mar 102015
 

Democrats and Republicans brawling cartoon

This survey is designed in order to maximize interest and minimize the time it might take us to create a Buzzfeed-type quiz where an anonymous algorithm assigns to you a random and completely arbitrary ranking or identity. None of that means anything. Instead we’re requesting that you read and reply by copying and pasting the questions into the comment back along with your T/F response. Please let us know where you’re living (without getting into specifics like addresses or PO box numbers). Finally, please accept our sincere thanks for actually responding.

If you’d like some reference material related to civil behavior, you might like to check out  this list written by George Washington.

Where you live, true or false:

  1. The police are not viewed as enemies.
  2. The police don’t view civilians (even some civilians) as the enemy.
  3. It is possible to get an appointment to see your doctor in a timely fashion.
  4. Your neighbors pick up after themselves, whether it be garbage, papers, dog poop, or towels at the gym.
  5. Road rage is a relatively rare occurrence.
  6. Hearing “please” and “thank you” is a relatively common occurrence.
  7. People return phone calls, emails or text messages in a timely fashion.
  8. People are tolerant of their fellow citizens’ differences.
  9. People are more accepting of uncontrollable forces of nature.
  10. Drivers yield to pedestrians, pedestrians mind the bicycles, bicyclists mind pedestrians, and everyone watches out for kids and dogs.
  11. Parents, teachers and school administrators aren’t at odds.
  12. Local community meetings are open and well attended.
  13. The locals have elected to their country’s governing body someone whose idea of good governance is to oppose, subvert, embarrass, harass and harangue the opposition.